I didn't always have this.
I feel like there has been a rush of new, spectacular additions to my life this year and I care about them so much. I am so positively present in each one, I am literally my best self. There was a part I read in this book about the presentation of a public identity and how it differs drastically from the internal self. I'd love for those two to align.
I want to be clear when I say all of my happiness is real. When I think about my life, I feel lucky as fuck because I didn't always have it this way. I am in love, which is a new thing. I'm talking about truly in love. I know what it is now. Also, I'm getting a better handle on my career each day. I've always known what I'm passionate about, but I feel established in ways while also knowing I've got a lot learn and a lot to accomplish. I'm so ready.
These things are building blocks and mean so much but you have to know there are numerous things an anxiety ridden person is going to pace about and believe in. The thing I have going for me is I have the ability to feel things deeply about others. So when I get irrational, I do process the other person's feelings cognitively and think about my actions carefully in that way. Because if there is one thing I do know, anxiety is not fair. It is irreparable panic in things the body has no control of. It's important for people that have anxiety to realize: not everyone has this. As much as you want people to be sensitive to you, I think it's important to remember it won't always be something everyone you encounter will understand. No one can fix your problems but you. Let the people you love be there for you, it's the best feeling. Never make them the answer though. It's up to you to do the real work. Whether that's seeing a therapist, reading books or expressing yourself artistically, you got this.
Lately, I know my anxiety has been affecting me more than I care to admit when paired with high stress level situations. I'm a perfectionist at work and yet I'm making mistakes I never have before. I never let myself be human and it causes unreal frustration and stress. My only advice is: let yourself be human.